D3 body, D1 cock
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
