he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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