i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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