Where is the hickey?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
