I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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