What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize