Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
