Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
