school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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