I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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