yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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