I look better un-naked...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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