does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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