i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
