So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
