The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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