Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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