life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
