dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize