office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
