She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize