He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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