it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
