I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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