How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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