I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
