BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
