I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
NoShamevember. You game?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
