Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I understand Curling. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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