dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize