Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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