Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
