why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
