I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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