i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
And then my night got REAL pukey
Ladies don't puke and tell
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
