So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
