I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Vodka?
Forever.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
