Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
