meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize