the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
