she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
