4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
