I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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