so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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