used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
me + whiskey = a bad person
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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