I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
