I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
