We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
