If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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