Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.

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  (248): the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick. http://tfl.nu/f71t
  Replies (2) Good night (775) Bad night (1035)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  "Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.

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  (925): "Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God. http://tfl.nu/18zl
  Replies (23) Good night (1505) Bad night (1315)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am

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  (515): if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am http://tfl.nu/tchg
  Replies (6) Good night (3163) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."

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  (949): just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will." http://tfl.nu/pn0l
  Replies (35) Good night (22275) Bad night (971)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.

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  (502): there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me. http://tfl.nu/l22j
  Replies (11) Good night (4913) Bad night (1224)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.

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  (304): Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way. http://tfl.nu/jfrt
  Replies (36) Good night (7442) Bad night (1352)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce

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  (603): Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce http://tfl.nu/x8zt
  Replies (11) Good night (3716) Bad night (1184)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.

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  (631): judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way. http://tfl.nu/a0to
  Replies (2) Good night (2809) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.

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  (724): Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks. http://tfl.nu/a8rg
  Replies (19) Good night (3846) Bad night (1395)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.

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  (618): This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape. http://tfl.nu/eyxg
  Replies (14) Good night (1675) Bad night (4678)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am

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  (408): who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am http://tfl.nu/787a
  Replies (13) Good night (2626) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.

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  (415): It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys. http://tfl.nu/8bog
  Replies (10) Good night (547) Bad night (1494)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse

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  (401): Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse http://tfl.nu/uyp3
  Replies (2) Good night (1013) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer

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  (770): but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer http://tfl.nu/kkfh
  Replies (4) Good night (664) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.

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  (832): just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me. http://tfl.nu/y6sy
  Replies (1) Good night (909) Bad night (269)

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