ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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