OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.