Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  doug butabi!

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  steve butabi!

  (248): View more from Michigan

  hotties wanna shake it

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  (248): doug butabi! (1-248): steve butabi! (248): hotties wanna shake it http://tfl.nu/krha
  Replies (22) Good night (1666) Bad night (873)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.

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  (214): She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats. http://tfl.nu/sl2y
  Replies (15) Good night (702) Bad night (4042)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Toronto

  You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?

  (1-905): View more from Toronto

  Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.

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  (905): You had a beer at 10:30 this morning? (1-905): Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol. http://tfl.nu/apvz
  Replies (30) Good night (3862) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?

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  (916): do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won? http://tfl.nu/7jg6
  Replies (29) Good night (1948) Bad night (3535)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.

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  (541): I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me. http://tfl.nu/habi
  Replies (16) Good night (3591) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.

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  (306): He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call. http://tfl.nu/bo9m
  Replies (2) Good night (1839) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.

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  (204): Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day. http://tfl.nu/31tb
  Replies (24) Good night (3999) Bad night (1075)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.

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  (617): Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory. http://tfl.nu/p9v1
  Replies (11) Good night (2015) Bad night (1019)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.

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  (360): The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN. http://tfl.nu/uweg
  Replies (14) Good night (2515) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.

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  (613): I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that. http://tfl.nu/ketf
  Replies (10) Good night (2455) Bad night (418)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives

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  (508): Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives http://tfl.nu/526e
  Replies (5) Good night (302) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.

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  (719): I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared. http://tfl.nu/v8f7
  Replies (8) Good night (1560) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT

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  (804): Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT http://tfl.nu/kgfg
  Replies (0) Good night (503) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.

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  (818): You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on. http://tfl.nu/jsq7
  Replies (2) Good night (733) Bad night (210)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia

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  (704): I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia http://tfl.nu/1d6y
  Replies (2) Good night (230) Bad night (526)

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