so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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