we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
