hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
