yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
