I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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