Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Randomize
