I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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