i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
dude. I can hear the air.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
