Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
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