I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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