My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
