I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
