made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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