i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
