oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
smell my finger.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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