Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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