She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
