yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
