My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
COCAINE IS GR8
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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